Introduction

Full disclosure; I can’t go into much detail at all as my case is still on going, but I will share as much as I can through this blog until everything is resolved.

Welcome to The Knock Effect. In short, this is really just a place for me to vent, discuss and hopefully inform others about what’s going on in my situation and what steps I’m taking to improve my life and change for the better.

My story is probably a little different from most. I wasn’t actually there for my ‘knock’. I was away with work, so they ended up knocking on the door in the early hours only for my partner to answer. Now that is something I never wish anyone to go through. The fact that she was there on her own, and to go through this pain and heartache by herself is something I will never forgive myself for. I woke up to a missed call and voicemail on my phone from the lead detective in my case, basically explaining what had happened and that I needed to go home and to the police station as soon as possible. Whack. My life had changed in an instant. A few days later I went to the police station and I was arrested. It was all very calm, there was no handcuffs or shouting or been thrown to the ground like you see in the movies. It felt very like normal for them, like it’s a situation that they do everyday (which I guess they do). The overwhelming feeling from my side was scared. Really, really scared. I’d never even been to a police station let alone been arrested. I felt so unbelievably small. After being processed, I sat alone in the cells for a while until my interview. It was fairly quick. The detectives asked a lot of questions and I answered as honestly as I could. I felt like honesty was the best policy, although being dishonest is probably why I got myself into this situation in the first place. I was bailed after a few hours and released back home like nothing had ever happened. But of course something did happen, and my life has changed forever. It’s still hard to process that statement even now, and I still feel genuinely terrified about the future and how things will progress, but I remain optimistic. Through therapy, talking and my wonderful, incredible partner, things have brightened and I’m putting in steps to improve my life so I never go back to those feelings that I had on my arrest. Some things have weirdly got better since this has all happened, and I’ll make sure I do some blogs about those on their own. My story is a crazy story that is still being written every day and I hope that there might be someone out there reading this that feels slightly less alone than they did. I’d call that a success for sure.

So what do I hope to achieve from ‘The Knock Effect’? Well, it’s just a place for me to share my experiences and I hope that others can learn and be informed by the things that I’ve done to adapt and change. I do believe that peer to peer group sessions could be extremely useful for a lot of people. This is a situation that you can’t really talk about with anyone other than therapists or helplines, and that can be a very daunting thing for most. Talking is something I’ve only done since this whole situation began, and it’s such an incredibly powerful tool. So we’ll see, I really hope others agree and it’s something I can push forward. The next blog post will be next week and I’d like to talk about therapy and talking and why for me this has been an absolute game-changer.

Please feel free to contact me if you’d like to talk, or are interested in peer group sessions, I’ll be happy to chat.

info@theknockeffect.com